for context,my parents were autists and raised me in isolation from others. ive never been able to connect to my parents emotionally,we didnt talk a lot. ive lived an lonely life with an very small unchanged friend group that i havent been able to open up to much. maybe im not an actual autist,maybe im just unsocialized and lack experience with people? how do you know what you are?
You can take a self administered autism test like this one. I also recommend checking out the website hosting the test, it’s informative without overwhelming you
I’ve always noticed something was different, kind of identified with HSP (highly sensitive) spectrum traits since I didn’t really know much of anything else. My parents don’t “believe in” neurodivergance, think it’s some “woke fad.” (Yeah, they’re really judgemental). Took the test just now. Scored 166… Ik a single test isn’t fully conclusive, but it makes sense considering I’ve always been the “different” one in my groups… Thanks for this resource.
I hope you can find the right level of support you need - and if that ends up being no support I hope you can still find peace in learning more about yourself (signed, a 188 score)
Please keep in mind that every autistic person has diffrent traits, and the abcd tests only give more or less “autistic points” according to the pre defined answer.
thank you
I’m in a somewhat similar situation. My upbringing has been very atypical and somewhat traumatizing, and I am fairly certain that both my mom and grandfather are autists. They haven’t been diagnosed and aren’t interested in getting one, but they fit the description almost to a T. There has been some talk about whether I have Aspergers as well, but it has never been confirmed or denied and at this point I think it would be difficult for even an expert to say for sure, because everything has been so mixed together into a big ball of dysfunction. I think if I had been a boy who liked trains instead of a girl who liked horses, then maybe I would have gotten a diagnosis as a child.
I have come to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter if I fall outside or inside the spectrum. I have another diagnosis that I could use to get accommodations, if there were any available, and I don’t feel the need to declare myself an autist. I am just quietly and privately trying out this explanation (being autistic) and the tools that come with it. If it helps me, that’s great, even if I fall outside the spectrum. If it doesn’t, then there really isn’t any harm done.
I wasn’t socialized as a child either, and one of my big issues have always been that I don’t feel like I really get it, I spend way too much energy on it and I am, for a lack of better word, always masking. Even when I’m alone, I pretend that someone is watching me and I try to figure out if whatever I’m doing is normal/okay. After I had the realization that I might actually be autistic, I have started practicing being myself when I am by myself.
I have also started being more mindful of not overstimulating myself. I can power through anything uncomfortable by dissociating, but I think it is really draining me. I learned to brush my teeth while dissociating, because it hurt. Now I can get up to brush my teeth, blink, and I’m back in the living room with clean teeth and no memory of brushing them. Obviously I still need to brush my teeth, but I have become more diligent about limiting uncomfortable sounds and smells.
Sorry for the long ramble.