• ZILtoid1991@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      Where do I post to improve my chances with women?

      Does Lemmy and/or kbin improve my chances of getting a girlfriend?

      • 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        ·
        1 year ago

        A relationship is not a job or product, you don’t get them, you HAVE them WITH other people. People don’t have other people, although it is common to say so in colloquial language.

        This is important and not petty, because language is like a sign post of beliefs and it is important for starting respectful relationships to believe that everyone involved is a person.

        Now, with that knowledge, lemmy can help you, but it can also hurt or not help you.

        • ZILtoid1991@kbin.social
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          I have multiple hobbies (programming, art, etc.), have regular showers, and I don’t have any gyms in my area. What now?

          • superkret@feddit.de
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            10
            ·
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            Get a hobby you don’t do alone on your PC. One where you go out and meet people to do it, preferably one that isn’t only done by men (unless you are looking to date men).

            • BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              4
              ·
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              For instance they could learn macramé or some crafting ting, go to yoga classes or dancing lessons, or what about baking or cooking lessons.

                • BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  4
                  ·
                  1 year ago

                  Being bad at dancing could be an advantage you use their laughter and sympathy to break the ice. Anyway scout the local area and sign up for some silly stuff and see where that takes you.

            • ZILtoid1991@kbin.social
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              Issue is, I live in a mostly died out community, and the only social hobby accessible to me is social alcoholism. Hungarian suburbs in areas with very high unemployment rival the American ones in badness, and we don’t even have awful zoning laws.

              EDIT: Can I use the Fediverse for dating?

    • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      26
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      I agree 100%

      But I do think it’s weird how as kids we’re all generally told that “everybody deserves love” then you grow up and realize that’s just not true.

      Why do we lie to children so much?

      • merc@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        39
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        Deserving love is different from deserving a girlfriend.

        Love is something you can spread around to multiple people. It can be anything from fraternal love for a co-worker you’ve gone through some rough experiences with, to romantic love that bonds you to one specific person.

        Everyone deserves love by default, although some people hurt other people and stop deserving love. But, deserving love and deserving the 1:1 commitment of a girlfriend are very different things.

        If you’re a kind-hearted, hard-working, trustworthy person who was raised with some fucked up beliefs, I’d say you deserve to be loved. Hopefully one of the people who loves you can take you aside and explain to you why your fucked up beliefs mean you can’t get a girlfriend. Hopefully that loved one can help you change so that a girl might want to make a commitment to you. But, nobody really “deserves” a girlfriend. They aren’t awards that can be handed out once someone completes the required steps.

      • rikonium@discuss.tchncs.de
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Brick of text alert! But don’t sweat it since I more want to throw it out there and your comment got me thinking.

        I’d say it’s a wholesome sounding, easy way out, same way we tell people to “just be yourself!” for dating. Probably we can shelve that alongside the tooth fairy, etc.

        “Just be yourself!” is easy, makes sense, is watered down for kid’s consumption and also does have some good in that we don’t want kids trying to change themselves to fit others like I once did but the problem with that snippet is that it isn’t really actionable and leaves out the important part of being “the best you!” (even then that’s vague)

        I was “being myself” many moons ago and it didn’t work in dating so I sunk into incel-land where it made sense to blame things I couldn’t change like race, area demographics, people who weren’t myself, etc. What I didn’t realize was that the “myself” that I was just plain sucked. While I was “nice”, I was an immature, anxious, awkward, very skinny, emotional wreck who had no idea who I really was. Metrics like height, penis length flaccid/erect, total max squat/bench/deadlift etc. were so much easier to quantify as something to “min/max” rather than “can I have a mature conversation about my feelings with someone?”

        A long, rough, self-help-book-fueled journey ensued. Had to learn to love myself enough to not only accept myself but also try to become the “best myself” - and even then that was long road after the self-help books ended.

    • blady_blah@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      6
      ·
      1 year ago

      It looks like someone else took the original person’s post and added that after. So the author isn’t the one who actually said that… At least that’s how I interpret the green text.

      • Darkenfolk@dormi.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        He doesn’t just watch anime though, he watches objectively good anime, because he has a good taste in anime, something your average normie viewer just doesn’t have.

        Did I mention that he has good taste yet? Because he definitely has good taste.

      • chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        Eh, there’s lots of women who like anime and games who would like partners with similar interests. Just usually not a high enough priority over other faults, and it’s not like finding decent people who are fine with games anime instead of obsessed is hard.

    • socsa@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      54
      ·
      1 year ago

      These posts are such schadenfreude to me as a shorter guy (“manlet”) who has never had any problems dating or getting women. The kind of people who make these posts and think courtship is some max/min game don’t realize that people can smell this shit on them. Their insecurity, misogyny, entitlement and racism just ooze out of them. It colors everything they do.

  • doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    46
    ·
    1 year ago

    Nice of him to include unit conversions. Would want any of your international homies to be confused about how much of an alpha you are

  • purahna@lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    31
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    strong sense of morality

    strong sense of honor

    legitimately worried about “predators” in 2023 (definitely no problematic implications with that phrasing)

    feels entitled to the love of a person he’s never met

    ok

  • Rentlar@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    27
    ·
    1 year ago

    Having an ISO B6 paper size of dick sounds like it’s more trouble than it’s worth.

  • MartinXYZ@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    26
    ·
    1 year ago

    I’ve been told I am handsome

    It doesn’t count when it was said by your grandmother and you were six at the time.

    • ivanafterall@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      25
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      It influences the good taste in anime. It also ensures he only uses his massive schlong when it’s truly called for, and never for evil purposes.