When the dog dies because it didn’t get its medication, and you are having the tombstone engraved, all the sudden it will come to you.

This sounds like candidate for malicious compliance. Just say 1st Jan, when that doesn’t work 2nd Jan, then 3rd Jan and on and on until you crack it

You call yourself a dog owner and don’t celebrate their birthday?

You have ~365 guesses. Seems fairly beatable.

I recently realized my dog is a year older than I thought because of a Facebook memory. I’ve been angry that he lied about his age all this time.