These days I’m usually against the death penalty, and I know it seems a bit harsh to advocate for this… but people entering in an exit door should be absolutely blasted with an Anti Aircraft gun (thanks Kim Jong Un for the idea!). It absolutely rustles my jimmies.
I believe it goes
Queen: Asad
King: Ahmadinejad
Rook: Bin Laden
Knight: 747
Castle: a cave (?)