Reistace is futile
carcinisation is inevitable
give up
give in
we are crab 🦀
Your blood will replenish itself, but your privacy will be gone forever
The entire time he was thinking
“This could’ve been an email”
I’m addicted to crack, but it’s fine since it’s organic locally-sourced fairtrade crack
Of course it’s bad taste, you’re supposed to inject it not eat it!
Notepad running through wine
It’s the journey, not the destination, that matters
If you sometimes eat other people, doesn’t that mean you’re in an open diet, or that you’re polydietous?
“our new cancer drug is 99% effective!”
“So it doesn’t work in 1% of cases? Then what’s the point, throw it away, we just have to accept that cancer is going to happen”
I understood the joke, but i choose to get offended regardless!
What do you use mr future person? Horn gas? Horn plasma?
God damn they beat me to it, and you beat me to tell them they beat me to it
The camera app and spreadsheet app? Because that’s what i would’ve guessed they were based on the icons
Odin craved knowledge to ensure the safety of the gods and the world, but the knowledge he was after was only knowable by the dead, so he impaled himself on his spear and hanged himself from one of the branches of Yggdrasil, there he stayed for nine days and nine nights on the border of life and death, at which point he succeeded in his quest.
Don’t trust the living or the dead, put your trust in those inbetween, put your trust in Odin 🙌
god: makes people, makes some of them gay
god: “how dare they be gay!”
He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, that god fella
All three of those things are myths,
the clitoris, the female orgasm and females,
all made up
They arrived just in time to see a bunch of farmers turned terrorist, burning down a church.
They heroically rushed in to defeat the terrorists and save as many women and valuables as they could from the burning structures
Don’t believe what the media tells you, they’re actually heroes!