Unfortunately, nothing will be as stupid as the reality

It really sounds like the newspeak russian media uses. Like, the explosions are called “loud claps”, helicopter crashes have been called “hard landing” etc

Plot twist — their dad is the dentist

Semantics, I guess, but it says “disease” in the meme, does that really constitute a disease?

Not how it works though. It might alleviate pain and improve your perception of your well-being, but it won’t heal you