I have what I call the Feeling Things Meter. Meaning that in a certain period of time, about one to three days, I have a set amount of feelings I am allowed to feel. If I exceed the number of feelings and fill up the meter I blank out and get to feel nothing at all. I can feel the Meter filling up, and I know when I am about to exceed it.
This also applies to feelings from movies, shows, games books and music. So I have to carefully plan out my entertainment around life events as best I can.
As you can imagine it becomes incredibly hard to navigate adult life with no feelings. And not just the big feelings but the little ones too. No drive to go out and do the shopping. No satisfaction of completeing a task. No disappointment if I screw something up. Nothing.
No one else in my life has this, or anything close to it. Most people look at me like I’m a crazy person when I try to explain it. I’m always making excuses for not wanting to watch movies or shows with friends, or bailing when a sad song comes on.
Please, I just want to know someone else has this problem. Anyone. How do you cope? Do you even listen to music? Do you have to leave movies halfway through becuase you couldn’t take it?
I just want to know I’m not alone.
I’m not diagnosed but I “feel you” lol. I never really had a name for it aside from just hitting my limit. There’s no amount of excitement, argumentativeness, sorrow, etc that reaches me after that. It’s like being physically or mentally exhausted but for your emotions. Its never really concerned me though because what am I supposed to do about it?
Overall it’s a similar response to my social battery. It just wears down to the point where I’ll withdrawal, and if someone tries to push me further I get very snippy and will eventually just leave the area/situation or go completely gray rock until it ends. As I’ve gotten older I’ve noticed I’ve built in escape hatches for myself and have no qualms about just walking out of emotion-ridden situations or even the middle of conversations. You will never see me without control over my own transportation to get home for more than about 30 minutes, and that’s only in emergencies.
I’ve never really planned my day around it though, as I’ve already built my life around it. I’m reclusive and analytical by nature and any type of strong emotion is usually a bit much for me. I hate sappy movies and songs, I usually refuse to participate in arguments after a certain level of heat is hit, and I find excessive excitement grating to my nerves. My family growing up was always very “extra” to me so they’ve learned they only get a few hours during the holidays before I do the ol’ Midwest knee-slap and hit the road.
Now the only time I hit my limit is usually during arguments where I am disinclined to leave (like at home with a spouse). Then I just end up looking like a psychopath because I’ll suddenly just kind of shut down and just go numb. My husband says he finds it very unnerving but it’s a pretty rare occurrence.
Well if you want to use Feeling Things Meter be my guest! I think it’s easier for poeple to picture a physical gauge of some sort.