The house next door to me is going up for sale soon and I’d like to delay that process as much as possible. What would be the most annoying music I could play when prospective buyers are next door?
When German people go to hell, or skiing, they are forced into little tents, served shitty overpriced beer, and are subject to repeated blows to their ears by a type of parasitic earworm whispered fearfully only in dark circles as “schlagermusik”.
Once exposed to it, it eats into their brain and gets behind their eyeballs, forcing them to wear manic grins, and tap tables to the weak, incoherent, barely thought out beats drumming mercilessly into what’s left of their soul.
Years after leaving the German part of Switzerland I still get A!-tem!-los! in my head out of nowhere sometimes :(
Oo-la-pa-loo
Oktoberfest?
Let him who hath understanding
Reckon the Month of the Beast
For it is a Human Month…
I was going to say polka music but this is close enough
When German people go to hell, or skiing, they are forced into little tents, served shitty overpriced beer, and are subject to repeated blows to their ears
That’s pretty accurate, actually. Same goes for “Apres Ski”, which is the same but more annoying and sexist.
Christian Rock
There’s a McDonald’s down the block from me that plays nothing but Christian music all the damn time. I honestly feel bad for the employees.
Oml can’t stand that shet polluting the airwaves
There’s always the risk that people who visit the house next door are into whatever annoying music you’re playing and end up moving there and blasting it for the rest of your life
What’s that dolphin-sounding song someone played during sex in that meme? That.
Alternatively, the brown note (assuming it’s real).
Or like hardcore noise stuff. Is “Wall of sound” a type of it?
Edit: How could I forget Ram Ranch?
Yes! Cbat hahaha. Thanks.
Reggae can be fun, especially to dance to, but when heard through a wall, you mostly hear the bass and all reggae has the same bass track. It’s almost comical, like that beat is a requirement of the genre. After hours of reggae you’ll wanna smash that stereo.
Clown Core is for those with discerning tastes.
Alright. Y’all ever hear about the shaggs?
A dad was told by a fortune teller that his yet-unborn kids were destined for musical stardom. After that, the dad had no choice but to force his eventual kids into a band.
These kids had no musical training. No sense of rhythm, no sense of pitch.
Their released music is the auditory equivalent of a child’s crayon drawing hung on the fridge. It’s astoundingly disjointed. It’s all wrong. Frank Zappa said they’re better than the Beatles. SOMEONE out there likes screamo. Some folks out there like bagpipes. Then what happens? Your neighbor loves blasting screamo. You’ve played yourself. Unless Frank Zappa is moving in, you’d be hard pressed to find a potential buyer that like the shaggs.
I’m just going to say Nightcore.
I get that Nightcore has an audience, but what makes it annoying for me is when I am trying to search for an obscure song and think I’ve found it, only to realize that it’s yet another low-effort nightcore remix.
I’m not certain about the most annoying, but this song is pretty bad
Exactly what I expected. Saved me from posting it, thank you.
Exactly what I expected to find in the comments
Thank you for this
A low pitched hum that they don’t even notice until they leave and appreciate the silence when they’re away from it.
Calm down satan.
(Top answer though)
i already have tinnitus; i literally can’t sleep without some noise to block it out.
Mine drove me crazy for the first few years. Now i notice it a lot less. Sometimes if i put that ear on my pillow the wooshing drowns out the screeching.
The dreaded B note
Modern pop country
Every Christmas song ever.
“Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney is the worst song of all time and I’m willing to die on this hill
I submit that these songs aren’t necessarily terrible but terribly overplayed to the point that they’re painful.
I swear half of Mariah Carey’s fortune is Christmas songs alone.
Also the whole “Boomers spent their entire lives and our entire lives trying to re-live their own childhood Christmases,” since the majority of original Christmas songs are from that period.
Also some people love Christmas music so this could backfire.
Baby Shark
I was thinking this one, thanks!
Care to elaborate why?
They want to dissuade buyers by being a conspicuously noisy and annoying neighbor to the point that the house sits empty for a while.
Which, like, if your first thought is to do this, maybe you actually are an annoying neighbor and you’re doing everyone a favor by letting them know.
Hey at least they’re open with it. I’d have love to have known that my neighbours were cunts before I’d move in. Sometimes a simple sign short of a burning poop bag is a nice olive branch.
They are going to only get neighbors that also suck, and since it has to sell lower it will lower their own home value.
OP is really punching their own nutsack here.
Family member wants to buy it and we want to dissuade other potential buyers. Plus the old owners are dicks so fuck ‘em.
Sounds like you guys are the dicks honestly.
The only way to defeat a dick is a bigger, floppier, girthier dick
Hey uh, this plan can get you sued under tortious interference. So remember to not brag about it. Also much better way is just to take up a noisy hobby like woodworking, drumming or fixing motorbikes.
I’ve been wrong before but I don’t see this post linking back to me.