even for normal people they’re not really designed with human joy in mind…but GOD it’s miserable trying to start a real thing just from cold texting

i mean look at this what the fuck am i doing. the phrase ‘pissing in the wind’ comes to mind

  • Azzu@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    Yeah idk I’m having 0 success with them. Women are bombarded with likes/messages and I feel like with autism there’s sure to be more charismatic ones than mine. When you get so many, there’s little reason to even engage any except the very best ones.

  • Caveman@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Dating apps don’t want people entering relationships since it doesn’t make them money.

  • Critical_Insight@feddit.uk
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    9 months ago

    I found my SO on Instagram. She seemed interesting so I sent her a message to which she replied to even though she gets a ton of messages like that. It’s just that the bar is so low that if you spend even 5 minutes writing it you’ll probably stand out quite a bit. I only contacted two women and both replied. This was like 8 years ago though so I’m not sure how much things have changed.

    • technologicalcaveman@kbin.social
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      9 months ago

      Somehow I also met my girlfriend on instagram. I was running a review page at the time for extreme films and music. I made a the joke, “the higher the hair, the closer to god” on a mutual online friend’s post, and she liked the comment. I already had a thing for her, so I decided to message her. I don’t remember what I said, but she said she knew I absolutely had to be autistic within a few minute’s based on that message and the way my reviews were done. Now we’ve been together 5 years, so it panned out pretty good. Pullin goth bitches with my autism swag.

  • r3df0x ✡️✝☪️@7.62x54r.ru
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    9 months ago

    Online dating is incredibly superficial. It also has its own challenges and requires the right skills. Send more then “hey” but don’t send a wall of text. You also want to say something that shows you read their profile without just simply regurgitating it.

  • Corroded@leminal.space
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    9 months ago

    I don’t think you did bad. You provided a genuine compliment and a decent conversation starter

    • _number8_@lemmy.worldOP
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      9 months ago

      thank you - it’s very hard continually coming up with perky, happy sounding chat up lines and sending them off into the ether with little response. how do i even know how well i’m doing?

  • Woodspring@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    9 months ago

    I personally had found it very difficult, and it absolutely destroyed my mental health (it was essentially the trigger for me to get therapy).

    Granted my mental health wasn’t great to begin with.

    You should have good photos. Like get a professional photographer if you can afford it, otherwise YouTube tutorials and a friend/camera timer. The picture is the first thing people see and their choice of whether to read the message at all or scroll onto the next person will depend on the photo.

    • chingadera@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I had minimal matches for 2-3 years taking my own photos, like between 1-3 I think. I asked my buddy’s GF to take some pictures of me playing with their dogs, and asked her to choose which ones went up from a woman’s perspective. Not my first choices but it was a complete 180 for me. Had matches within the week, and I’m currently dating my last match from 4 years ago.

      It is difficult, but it’s workable.